June is Pride Month, Gay Pride Month. The word "gay" has been virtually eliminated from the lexicon of online media, television, and print publications in reference to Pride Month. Have no doubt, June is for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex community. 

It's easy to see this month as a time to reflect on our collective past and look towards the future of the gay rights movement. I want to focus on you.

I want you to look at yourself in a mirror and ask yourself the above question. Go ahead, noone's watching lol

You need to recognize that you're still here. Yeah I"m sure that you've dealt with some bullshit in your life, but hey, you're still here. You need to pat yourself on the back and really answer that question. So, what can you do TODAY to make you feel proud? You can start by saying, out loud, "I'm still here. Yes, I could complain about the past or I could be fearful of the future. I'm here right now. I made it, and I'm proud of that. I'm stronger than I thought I was, and THAT is why I'm proud of myself."

Erections happen. It's a natural bodily process that occurs when a guy is in a relaxed state (aka the Parasympathetic Nervous System [click HERE for more information]). Have you ever seen a guy get hard when he's stressed out?! Right. That's because it only happens when the body and mind feel like they are in a safe, secure environment. So first I wanna say to you that it's a DIRECT CORRELATION to your relaxation, so, congratulations for being relaxed!

It can be embarrassing "pitching a tent" during a massage. I can understand, I'm a guy :) It's happened to me as well while I'm getting a massage, so don't get it twisted!  The last thing you need is your massage therapist telling you how bad of a person you are. I will apologize for every MT that has shamed you, belittled you, or made you feel inferior or lesser than because of this. You went to get a massage to relax and/or for pain management, not to have an insecure Judge Judy projecting their feelings on you. 

Now that we've established that you'll never get yelled at or belittled for getting an erection, don't touch it. It'll go up, it'll go down, and we'll move on. I won't stare at it, and I won't comment on it, saying "Woah, look at your raging boner!" I don't perform sexual services. Point. Blank. Period.

If you're concerned that you might get an erection, and don't necessarily need any specific work on your adductors (the inner thigh) or abdominal area, I can always work around those areas. Remember, this is YOUR time, your session. You won't hurt my feelings if you need me to change up my techniques or work in another area.

I will never assume that because your "morning wood" is roaming, that you have personal, intimate feelings for me. I will never assume that you're thinking about pornography. You're erection has nothing to do with me; it's an involuntary bodily response.

There's a high probability that the more massages you get, the higher the probability that your erections will happen less often. That's because your body will become accustomed to being worked on, and will eventually be so relaxed that it won't even happen.

So. there you go guys.

There are lots of styles of massage, and I occasionally get asked about my specific style.

Yes we've heard of "Swedish" massage and "Deep Tissue" massage, but what does that really mean? You don''t really know exactly how the massage will flow, or not flow. That's why I did this short video, so that you get a bit more understanding of my slow, deep, eastern sensibility.

There are a number of reasons why I prefer male massage therapists:

1-Male massage therapists get less work than female-identified therapists, and I want to support them. It's unfortunate that because the massage profession has had an underground and salacious past rooted in sex trafficking, most clients will stay away from any guy who does massage. I completely understand this sentiment. 

There are lots of really knowledgeable, talented, caring, and PROFESSIONAL male therapists that have your best interest in mind.

2-I'm a dude, and I feel more comfortable with dudes working in intimate areas. This is my truth. The "inner thigh" (the Adductors) and my  butt (Gluteus Maximus/Medius/Minimus) are areas that I really need worked on, especially because of my work. I hate when a therapist (or a major spa chain) feels uncomfortable working on my glutes. IT"S A BODY PART, WHO CARES?! I'm not wanting anything sexual, I need a medical massage! 

Just like some people feel more comfortable with a female therapist, I definitely prefer a male. The majority of my clients come to me because I'm a guy. 

So many times I have had conversations with, mostly male massage clients, who come into my studio and don't know exactly what they want out of the massage. I think that most people are so used to getting massages at places that don't do a verbal intake of their needs. Consequently, because of the lack of communication before the massage, people leave the massage feeling a little better, but wishing that the bodyworker had focused a little bit more on their lower back, or a little bit more on their shoulders, or a little bit more on their legs, [Fill In The Blank].

Have you ever felt this way??

GUESS WHAT? YOU GET TO CHOOSE!

I know, crazy concept. I'll actually listen to you. If you want only your legs worked on for an hour, you can have that. If you want mainly your neck worked on, you can have that. 

What a concept!!

I get a lot of people asking me if my massages hurt, and I love answering this question.

Depends on what type of massage you're looking for.

Relaxation massage should never hurt. The intention of "Swedish" or relaxation massage should be to do exactly that. You should feel completely relaxed, like you're on cloud 9, "massage drunk" if you will.

Deep Tissue massage is potentially a different situation. Typically Deep Tissue massage is necessary for people that already have pain or stiffness in problem areas. Most people that have had a deep tissue massage may have had a "no pain, no gain" massage therapist who told you that they need to press as hard as they can to loosen up your muscles, no matter how much pain they may be causing you.

STAY AWAY FROM THIS TYPE OF PRACTITIONER!

I'm a massage therapist that believes your nervous system won't allow you to relax if it feels your body is in danger. My approach to Deep Tissue massage varies with each person, because everyone has their own "pain" threshold. We know of family members or friends who seem to never get cold, no matter how low the temperature. They're wearing shorts and a T-shirt outside when everyone else has pants, a sweater, coat and a beanie. How are they able to do this without feeling the "pain" of the cold, wintry weather? How is that person who loves spicy food able to handle the "pain" that comes with it? What about massage specifically? Why do some people really love that deep, elbow-in-the-back type of massage, while others can't handle any pressure? It's because the word "pain" is relative to each individual, and yes, some types of "pain" threshold can be managed, manipulated, and changed.

Most people may feel what I call a "mild discomfort" while l'm loosening your soft tissue, fascia, and musculature. Your musculature is already in pain or has stiffness, and the mild discomfort that you feel from my massage will eventually ease that pain that you had when you first arrived to my studio. 

If you're a plus-sized person (bears, if you will), getting a massage at a spa can be a pain, for a number of reasons:

"Will the therapist roll their eyes when they see my big body?"

"I need deep tissue massage and I don't know if they'll be able to go deep enough."

"Will the massage therapist judge me?"

"I can tell they don't want to work on me."

I want to start a movement: a movement that yells


"BIG PEOPLE NEED MASSAGE TOO!"

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​You shouldn't feel uncomfortable or weird when you walk into a spa or a massage studio. I mean, being naked underneath a sheet and touched by a stranger is a pretty intimate experience!